Occurs to me that in this day , we , or I have lost my Family,,, now the have not gone anywhere , really,,, Just that I think about when My family was young,, Minor holidays, and Made up holidays, and Sundays were all spent together. There would not be a Fathers day when I did not see most of my children, and while realizing that they have lives of their own, I am not sure its an excuse. we ain't just talking fathers days, as I really don't care about that day in particular, as I do the trend that things are going,, we spend so many days apart. Its too far to drive, and it is ! its way across the country, or its just not convenient or no one gives a shit.
It could be that it is not realized that the opportunity is not always there, and saying I wish we had after we no longer can is meaningless BS.
I wonder why ....... why ,, no one comes to my house, and we are not invited to others, I am not the easiest person to get along with, maybe that is it... maybe the house IS too small , the every other weekend work does not help,,, or maybe no one gives a shit, maybe the small house is it,,, but it certainly seems unimaginable that my grandson,, has been to my home less than 5 times in over 2 and a 1/2 years. , the toys we have for him here or had,, heck we got rid of them,,, the playpen when he was young, the Highchair that was used exactly once, no need for all that. I contrast that with my children who were at both of their grandparents homes 5 times in probably the 1st 4-6 weeks of their lives, why is that ? I am not judging,, I just don't know,, and I would like to.. my Grand son has been to 3 maybe 4 Yankee games,,, but not with me - don't know why that is.... We took our kids ,, perhaps not at two,, but hauled them all there when they were young.
I guess I just do not understand why,,, no one will say,, that's normally not the kind of thing that is said as people think that there is something terrible about telling the Truth.
I think its time for me to change my part of the behavior,, to just wait to be called,, I am just concerned that my life will end, and I will see that it was me all along that no one wanted around,,, or maybe no one gives a shit,,
